“Live est un oignon et un peeling en pleurant.” Proverbe français
“Life is an onion and one peels it crying.” French Proverb
This proverb jumped out at me again today. My onion is definitely peeling! When I am sad, I cry. When I am mad, I cry. When I am lonely, I sometimes cry. When I sense someone else’s dis-ease, I cry. When I am really happy about something, I cry. When I find something really funny, I laugh til I am crying. And sometimes…I don’t know why…but I just cry. It is a good thing that I am living by myself these days, because my onion is definitely peeling.
I used to be so stoic. I did not want to waste time crying. I just did something to get over the sensation and moved away from it. I kept myself busy. I believed that it made me strong! It took a lot to get me to cry…and heaven forbid if someone happened to see me cry! I realize now that I was stuffing a lot inside of me. My onion was growing, and the outer peels got pretty tough.
It took a long time and a lot of self-study to feel OK with shedding a tear or two…or two thousand. I decided that if three-quarters of the world is water, and two-thirds of the human body is water, it is just fine to let go of a bit of mine. A total release occurs: physical, emotional, spiritual. It might not change a situation, but something about my perception of the situation changes. It just makes me feel different. Sometimes that different may only be exhausted and re-eyed, but that’s OK. It leads to a good sleep, and things always seem brighter after a good sleep.
Of course, I still prefer to do my crying alone (or as the old song says “in the rain”) so no one can see. Most of the time I choose an appropriate time and place for it. But I have stopped stuffing it down and keeping it deep and tight inside. Crying is a necessity: a natural part of our development in this life.
I am sure that this time of crying a lot will pass, as I move forward on my path. I also am sure that there will be more times of tears. I am OK with that, and accept it in others. And if the urge to cry is there and the tears just don’t come…I will just peel some onions.
This blog is a version of a post from August 2011. Venus, retrograde and transiting in all of its glory, is working its magic on me. I am sure that I am not alone, as we are guided to use our emotions, creativity and intuition to release and gently move forward, setting up for a peaceful revolution.